hey ho.its july. last day of july.and i realised things are rlly gna engulf me up and i need a way to let it all out.
so if u happen to come here, and happen to read whats here, read and go.

tdy is rlly a very very very bad day. its an ups and downs day.
perhaps being in the wrong sch make everyday seemed bad.idk.
so i was saying. it was a bad day because i lost control of myself at the end of the day and broke dwn before im alone.
and ahjussi was there. in the end we ended up nt talking cuz he was shocked and i was trying to cover up how i feel by nt facing him and for the whole bus ride it was just silenceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

i felt tt i've let many ppl down and disappointed in me. and i feel so so so so so guilty that idk how to save some things alr.
i lost my connection with ange yilin yinkar jiaen rest of clique 8 and s7 and many other nanhuarians. I SERIOUSLY MISS MY TIME IN NH. where everything is so simple, when theres just studies and friends.
im rlly rlly rlly rlly sorry guys! i rlly rlly rlly wna to nt lose contact with u guys badly bt i cnt seem to maintain what i rlly want.

i felt sorry towards buddy because i realised i hadnt talk to him for a long time. and i wasnt the person to be there for him anymore. i wasnt the buddy that he used to have. and i rlly rlly feel sry abt that. even though we will still suan each other in sch like we used to, we werent as close. i knw most of it was due to me. so im rlly feeling very apolegetic. bt buddy, if u happen to see this, pls knw that. i still see u as a buddy, still regard u as a friend that i'll love and dnt wna lose.

i felt sorry towards ah gong and mummy too. i wasnt connecting with ah gong anymore. because i was too lazy to sms. and theres no huang cheng. bt ah gong. i rlly appreciated the fact tt i gt to knw u this yr. ur one of the best friends i made in hc. i knew we cnt be like of what we were in the past, bt i hope. even though i may seem to be forever busy or unreachable, if u want an listening ear, u can come to me. And to mummy, even though we see each other in class and cca, i didnt get to go mugging sessions with u anymore and i knw its entirely me who cnt make it. im rlly sry abt tt. rlly rlly. rlly rlly.

lastly, i feel sorry towards ahjussi because ur girlfriend is a sinful person. as much as i didnt want to, i made u worry tdy. besides that, even though im trying my very very very best, i cldnt rlly get rid of the feeling tt i've felt when u were so devastated when u knw tt its someone's impt day.i knew its different. i knew its two different case bt i cnt help bt let the woman's inborn sinful trait overwhelm me. im rlly sorry, cuz i dnt wna to give any more pressure and stuff

I WANT TO STAY SIMPLE. BECAUSE THE ENVIRONMENT IS CAUSING ME TO SHOW MY COMPLEX SIDE. because i wna hide the fact that. every simple being does hold a cimplicated mind even if he/she doesnt look like.