i am (a) nervouswreck

omg omg i am called JINGHUI
being all bimbotic at the age of 15 and a half yrs old
26 JUNE is totally my highness's day. Currently wasting my life away in NANHUAHIGH if you have any idea where that is. However, 401 is the love now while 301, 208 and 108 were all my ex-bfs (: and a drug that keeps me going on is NANHUADANCESOCIETY!

bimbo's friendster
bimbo's msn
bimbo's facebook

paper 1s suck. i hope i can stop procastinating.
even i find myself irritating.

someday ppl are going to regret.
never trifle with a woman; because you dnt knw what shes going to do if she gets serious.

thx for everything. im getting a bit SERIOUS.

god. guess no one comes here anymore
which is quite a gd thing actually.
i cnt believe im still so relax abt prelims. because afterall, i only finished VENICE.
someone slap me please.
anyway i jst feel like typing sth. so i typed sth
and im sorry for nt finishing my dedications at all.

to a certain someone out there, im am going to make you pay for all that i had gone true.
YOU BET.
when i get bitchy, you get down.

A THANKYOU POST.

1st. to all my sec 3s, sec 2s and sec 1s jnrs. idk if you guys will see this, but thank all of you for being very cute and adorable jnrs. thanks for making our last performance a success. thanks for all your encourages when the sec 4s broke down. without all of you, NHDS is not NHDS anymore. for the sec 3s, i know you guys will do a good job in leading dance and im sure dance will attain greater achievements :D dear juniors, please avoid making laoshi angry if possible. all of us know that NHDS needs laoshi badly, right? you guys can occasionally buy liang cha or pi pa gao for him because he often will lose his voice from shouting. i wish all of you lucks for everything you guys do (: NHDS, AJA!

2ndly, to all my seniors who graduated. i remembered on the 1st day i stepped into dance, qihui (HODG) shouted at us and told us: ZAI ZHE LI, WO BU YAO KAN DAO NI MEN ZOU, YE BU YAO KAN DAO NI MEN PAO. WO YAO KAN DAO NI MEN FEI!
initially, i couldnt undst why the snrs were all so fierce and i even argued with my parents that i wanted to quit dance. afterall, my 1st choice wasnt dance. but still, i need to thank ms yeo for forcing me into dance. because once i stepped into dance, i learned many new things. i matured and grew up. i made friends with many wonderful people. all my snrs taught me alot. FERNY LIHUAN MINGYUE ALYSSA PEIXUAN XINYU JESLYN SHANA YANGYANG WENXUAN and many others. the syf times we've gone through, ndp 06 and other performances. thanks for all of your guidance. all of you made my life in nhds a fufilling one.

3rdly, to laoshi. i am 100% sure he would not read this but hes so much of a strict father and so much of a good teacher. his famous line: NI MEN LAI DAO ZHE LI, WO BU HUI JIAO TIAO WU. NI MEN ZHI YAO XUE HUI ZHAO GU ZI JI, ZHAO GU BIE REN. ZUO GE NIAN QING REN, spurs me on alot. he has been teaching nanhua for a decade or so and he had feelings for nhds. he always gave his best, knowing that sometimes he may be disappointed. knowing that sometimes he will get very angry. knowing that the job isnt easy. but laoshi still face the problems bravely, and in the end, he is still the winner. i love him a lot and im sure many others do. laoshi, xiexie ni rang wo xue hui zuo yi ge nian qing ren.

lastly, BATCH 93. SEC 4S. BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
to nicholas seah my dear chairman: i missed your long and luo suo speech. please make sure i will be able to listen to it one last time. your committment surpass all of us for dance and you never really complained about it. i applaud for ur passion for dance and at some points of time when i dreaded the work that i had to do for the cca, you pulled me back and got me onto the right track. your long quotes (even though they were downloaded from the net :x) do serve a purpose. thank you for being there to listen. and im sorry that throughout ur duties as the chair, i didnt rlly do a good job in assisting you. i am sorry for being too hot headed and always quarrel with you because of my bad temper. but all in all, i really love you as a dance chairman and no one will be able to replace ur position as the chair. because you are the one suited for the position and no one else.

merrien my all time great friend and vice-chair: thanks for being there for me at any time. i can share all my feelings and thoughts and secrets with you at ease, because you seemed so much more mature than me and so much more saint. standing beside you, i felt like an immature child. you too, pulled me through the difficult times and i love you ALOT ALOT ALOT. you wont shun me away when i am emo, you dont look at me in a different light when sometimes i do things that were quite ridiculous. you worked hard as the vice and i knew you tried ur best to help nicholas. similarly, im sorry that i didnt assist you much too. i had been not a good exco member, hadnt i? thanks for tolerating with my frequent moodswings and giving me advices like my sis.
from the start, everyone expected you to be in the exco and you didnt disappoint all of us. dont doubt yourself as the vice, because you are also the best vice in everybody's eyes!

evelyn my discipline: thanks for tolerating my atrocious attire and behaviour. i knew i have been giving alot of attire problems even though im in the exco. i knew my attitude wasnt very nice. sorry for all that. no one else could be in this discipline position because none of us fit to be. thank you for being willing to take on this position that proved to be the most difficult. we did have some quarrels at times, but im sure all of these were just part of life. in the end, all of these quarrels just add on to the friendship isnt it? promise that when you go to australia, never forget me and never forget batch 93 (:

tianjun HODB: good brother! you are also the best discipline because the moment your face turns black, everybody will automatic an jing! haha :x you put in alot for dance too and you were always the one to volunteer yourself to help. you treasured dance memories as much as all of us do and i finally get to see you cry on ayg that day! haha! u and your eyeliner lol! thanks for being a good bball friend too (: rmb happy tianjun day? we will never forget to celebrate happy tianjun day!

others to be continued...

idk why i cnt upload pics. so this is going to be a wordy and no pics post.
1st thing. i wna thank all those who wished me happy bday be it on facebook or through sms or msn. thank you :D
thanks to clique 8 for that super cute board. i knw it took efforts to get it done.
thanks to merrien, ding, regina, xixi and vanessa for the early bday celebration. i love the magazine and xie zhen ji, love the shepherd pies and apple crumbles baked by regina, the super big and artistic J done by ding (:
thanks to nicholas, yinkar, jiaen, jingkai and others for presents and smses.


in this long period when i didnt post, theres ange's bday, sentosa dance outing and ayg pracs as well as the real performance itself on 290609
ange's bday was spent in WWW and it was superb fun even though all of us gt burnt except xiong.
dance outing was bimbo day for me cuz i didnt want to sweat so i just stoned with lingyuan and camwhored with celia's camera :X


220609 to 290609
AYG pracs. there were several scoldings frm laoshi and many times when i complained about my bruises and spoilt knees. but now, i realised there are no more chances of complaining again.
my journey of 4 years flew past. when i was in sec 1 looking at the sec 4s graduating, i thought i still have 3 more years to go. Before i knew it, im leaving.

remembering telling my friends i cnt go out after sch on wed and fri because of dance pracs,
changing into dance attire,
asking people to help me tie my hair neatly and tightly,
cutting my nails hurriedly because of attire checks,
sweating like mad because of the tedious warm up and guo san guan,
going onstage to lead warm up,
wearing dance tee on wed,
collecting dance fund,
collecting consent forms,
standing in front of nhds and talking to them,
shouting AN JING when everyone gets too noisy,
helping jnrs make up,
having exco meetings in je lib,
recording down details during the meeting.
all the above will never happen again. never. jinghui has officially retired as dance secretary.
no more passing of relays, no more bursting of smses because of relays. no more quarrelling during discussions. no more seeing and greeting laoshi every wk.


everything comes to a halt the moment we got dismissed in sch after ayg.
at the very point when nicholas said that we were dismissed, i couldnt get myself to stand up. because it all happened too fast. i hvnt listen to nicholas's last speech as the chairman. i want to hear his speech. i want to hear him say I LOVE YOU GUYS to dancers for the last time. i will never get to complain that hes being too luo suo in his debrief. i will never get to laugh loudly whenever he says touchy stuff like i have been thinking abt dance for the whole night. in the end, it was just a super short debrief. and i started crying. crying. crying.


in the morning when we left class at 10am to prepare makeup and stuff, i was still thinking why was everything so screwed up. but things started to fall in place even though laoshi scolded. just before the performance, nicholas gave a motivating speech in the function room. and we did dance cheer. and we broke down. and we ended up like ru huas. but the spirit was there. i felt the nanhuadancesociety spirit for 1 last time. and i know we did well for the performance. as for myself, i left regrets because i dropped my bamboo. that feeling of making a mistake in your last dance is very miserable, so as soon as i ran backstage, tears poured. tears smudged my makeup, but i cant control them. at that point, i knew many other sec 4s were tearing too. be it too touched, or be it being sad because our last dance was over, i dont know. the guys were crying very unglamly, with jingkai and nicholas hugging together, with tianjun having 2 black streaks of eyeliner trickling down his face, with wenxuan having tears in his red eyes. finale was high, even though many of us were still crying very unglamy. merrien was funny. she controlled herself from crying backstage and the moment she ran out with of us dancing finale, she cried.

unhappy moments with that lump of fats packed in a big oil tank would be erased from my memory because on my last day in nhds, i wanted it to be filled with happy memories :D
thank you NHDS, for giving me a wonderful 4 years. thank you, for teaching me to live life fullest as a teenager. thank you thank you thank you.

im gg to post his pics until i stop going goo gaa over him. which may take a very long time
and yilin and i decided to have half of him each. yilin says she dnt mind be the xiao lao po! :p

fri was ptc and talked to mrs lim for almost half an hr
dance was quite high and it ended quite nicely only to find that the hall keys are missing
and in the end, it became a tragedy
we even had to call the dancers 1 by 1 to ask if they saw the hall keys and no one did.
we gt liang lao shi and ms kee into deep trouble. felt so sorry bt the hall keys jst wun appear! ):
urgh. so irritating

ytd (cuz im posting nw which is 1am, so sat had to be ytd) was also a very very very draining day
frm fri until nw. everything tumbled one by one into my life and before i knw it everything was over again
so was having tuition with ange in the morning and received a sms that sparks off the drama ytd.
after that was jst fluster. freaking out. worry.
and i was spammed with calls and smses. my phone bill is so gg to burst after fri and sat
went hm to gt yilin's electronic dictionary for her and went to cut hair
proceeded to starbucks to do hw bt to no avail cuz half of the time i was smsing and receiving calls
yilin came and after a short while ange went hm and yilin and i went to meet xiong, joanne and the other brothers at outram park
xiong yilin and joanne were super freaked out. i gt over being freaked out earlier on so i was more calm :D
so went off and finally being able to relax after seeing what we are supposed to see
went kopitiam and eat. was stuck in there for some time cuz it was raining
rched hm at abt 10 plus pm.

i hate how life is so sudden. how unpredictable it is. how at one time u can be smiling and the nx moment, the smile disappears and everything that was once gd turned topsy turvy.
the hall keys being missing after a gd dance prac and a sudden sms that turned the whole day differently were very gd eg.

i am being bias. but i cnt help bt feel disappointed when his name was not where it was supposed to be. and i can tell no one cuz im nt supposed to